Worry

today, I'm asking you all to pray for a friend whose family member is at the end stage with her fight against breast cancer. I got the call in the early afternoon and it made me cry with her... it's never easy to see someone you love struggle with an illness... and when they're at the end stage of the disease, so many questions come to mind and there is a longing to hold on for just a bit longer, so you can say good-bye and spend some more time together. I didn't know what to say, i couldn't find the right words to comfort her.. all I can offer was prayer and finding comfort in a God who understands what we're going through. After I got off the phone, it hit me that that could've been me... losing my fight with breast cancer... Again the question, would it be better to know that you have a set amount of time to live or would it be better not to know? would it help if your family and friends knew you only had so many months or weeks to live? or would it be better not to know?

Later on in the day, we visited another friend who is in the hospital with pneumonia. This was my first "official" visit to a hospital when i am not the patient. I actually went coz it would've been too much driving for Frendell to drop me off at home first. I didn't expect the feelings that came over me as I stood by the bed and watched our friend having a difficult time breathing; when she tried to cough, my heart just broke for her and i got scared when it set off the alarm in one of her monitors... actually, the machine was helping her breathe and she was trying to say something to us and couldn't... I didn't expect to feel physical pain, but I did. I asked Frendell if he felt faint.. he said no. I told him I did and I literally had to sit down. That's the first time that ever happened to me in a hospital setting. Usuallly I'm the one that holds his hand so he won't feel faint. It felt like I was the one on that bed... it was a weird experience for me. 

As we were driving home in traffic, I thought about what made life really count. With all the economic turmoil and things going on, my focus turns to worrying about the future. And it reminded me of the verse in the Matthew 6:25-34 which talks about "not to worry about your life, your body, what you're going to eat. We won't add another minute to our lives even if we worry". It's so difficult to let go of the worries, the fears that weigh me down. What makes life count? For me, today, it was just being able to listen to my friend as she starts grieving for her family member; today, it was being able to visit a friend at the hospital and praying for her; praying for all my friends and loved ones; being able to tell Frendell "thank you" for always being patient with me and appreciating him;  being able to give praise to my Father in heaven who allowed me another day to live... for it could have been me at the end of my fight against cancer.  How did you make your day count today?