My Mom is coming tomorrow. We've very excited that she's coming. I know she's been wanting to come over since my surgery, but it would've been too cold for her in Jan or Feb with all the snow we've had. I'm looking forward to home-cooked meals :-) No take-outs for awhile. Although, I must say that some of our friends have brought us very delicious food, homemade or not and we have been very blessed by that and we enjoyed every morsel of it as well :-) Frendell has been juicing faithfully to make sure I get my complete servings of vegetables :-)
Went to my group last Thursday. Met 2 new ladies. One of them has the same exact story I have, except she's still at the beginning phase of her treatment. She has been recommended to have a mastectomy. I felt so bad for her; she's probably my age as well and it was hard to see her so devastated. It surprised me the vehemence of some of the women in our group when she voiced that she wanted to save her breast as much as possible. I thought I was having a flashback when I heard things like, "it's just a breast, your life is more important", or "it doesn't define who you are, you are more than a breast", or "you have other things to worry about". I was saddened by the insensitivity I saw there.. and this is my support group. Don't get me wrong, I understand where they are coming from and if we all thought about it, what they said were true. What surprised me and made me sad was the way it was delivered... there was no empathy and understanding for the woman who is struggling with the diagnosis and the fact that she has still to come to terms with this. So, you all know me, I just could not stay quiet... so I told them that I struggled with the same thing... and for them who were cavalier enough to say, "go ahead, take it off, it's only a breast", well, good for you. But we're not any worse or wrong if we have to struggle with it. It is, after all, our bodies and our decisions and we are also entitled to what we think and how we feel and how we want to proceed. It was a enlightening time for me. She came up to me later and thanked me for the support. I encouraged her to get a 2nd opinion if she didn't feel comfortable with the doctor, but I did tell her that my surgeon and oncologist told me that if it's ductal carcinoma, it is harder to predict how far the cancer has gone, because ducts are like roots to a tree. I hope she will be more at peace with her decisions in the next few weeks. Its a pretty traumatic thing to have to face and unless you've had to make that kind of decision, you can only speculate what you will do in that situation. Overall, I'm very glad I go to group. I learn so much from the others and I am encouraged by their determination to continue living life in spite of the cancer. They won't let it define them. Even K this week is much more animated and shared more. I guess she has been given a time period of survival; she seems to be struggling with it. She said she felt 'defeated' though, because she didn't know about her cancer or treatments available for her. Our facilitator has been wonderful in guiding her to the right resources... now, if she'll only make that call :-) It made me wonder: what is better... knowing that I only have so many months to live or to live and not know when i may die. What do you all think? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on this...
I hope you all had a great week-end. It was a dreary, rainy week-end here in Chicago.. flash flood warnings are still in effect. I wished it were snow... but Frendell was so happy he doesn't need to shovel :-) we thought we may have to canoe to get somewhere... have a great week everyone... make today count; someone out there needs your caring touch.
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