Mom goes home :-(

After 10 days here in Chicago, Mom left this morning for California. We will miss her and all the help she's been to us. It has been so nice to have my Mom here to talk to and go for walks daily and of course, there's her delicious cooking. I know she is very worried about me and many times I've had to reassure her that I'm doing better and able to do more for myself. It is very hard to be far away from each other. I know it's been hard for her to see me with incisions and such. We will miss having her here, specially now that it's getting warmer and we can walk outside more often.

Yesterday, I went to my support group. It is really a nice way to connect with other women who are going through the same things I am. Most of them are actually either in the middle of or finishing their chemotherapy treatments. In hearing them talk about their ports and side effects and all, I couldn't help but be grateful that my chemo is oral and I will not have the same adverse side effects that they've been experiencing. Although when I read the side effects of my medications, it isn't that simple either... and in fact, the nurse called me yesterday to check up on me and see how I'm doing. I am a bit nauseated and my stomach hurts but it's tolerable for now. One lady from our group, "K" shared that she discovered that she was very angry for all the things that have happened to her. This brought about a very interesting discussion on feelings and expectations and expressions and processing. I told them that lately I've been finding myself more angry and I am trying to figure out the cause of it. I think we were thrown into the rigors of diagnosis and surgeries and treatment options so quickly that there has been very little time to really digest it all. I'm glad we were able to talk about it yesterday.. and K seems happier and more animated and amiable now, compared to when i first met her 3 weeks ago.

Saw the plastic surgeon yesterday and he said that my wound may take up to many, many months to close up and heal. He is suggesting an outpatient procedure to close it up and also to trim some tissue from the side which is causing me great discomfort. We'll see how it goes... right now I am kinda tired of surgeries, but I'm afraid I may need to do it to close the wound. We will be in discussion again for the next couple of weeks.... one never knows what to expect around the bend... the doctors will confer with each other regarding my sleepless nights... we'll see what they decide. I know taking the meds will skew everything again.. I'm so not very patient and it's hard to 'wait and see'.  I hope you all had a great week :-)