Before the doctor's appointment today, I went to the Wellness House in Hinsdale for my first cancer support group meeting. It's called Women Connected From The Start. The Wellness House is an organization that provides educational, emotional, social support to people and their families who are struggling through cancer. They have over 50 classes/groups/meetings that go on every month and they have specific ones for husbands and children, as well as for the cancer patient. We went there prior to my surgery, so we can be connected to a support system who can guide us through the different things.
I was the first to arrive and the other women started trickling in. Our facilitator was Marta. Two ladies were talking about one of them, who had a really cute short haircut, one that I've wished I could have if I had straight hair. So, since it's my first time and I wasn't thinking, I complimented her and said, "I really love your hair.. it's a very cute cut on you". The other lady, an older woman, looked at me sharply and said, "it's a wig, don't you know?". Frankly, I didn't. I didn't even think about it. Since I'm not in that part of my treatment and since I didn't see any bald women, I didn't think about it. Later on, a lady did come in with a shaven head.. but everyone else either had wigs on or their hair had grown back already.
There ended up to be 9 of us. Two of us were new today. 8 of us have breast cancer, the older lady, K, has lung cancer. We're all in different stages of our treatment. 5 are undergoing chemotherapy. I'm the most recent surgery. 1 is in radiation. 1 finished all her treatments in October and K had surgery to remove 40% of one of her lungs, but is not on any follow-up treatments or meds. I felt so bad for her. She told us she didn't even really want to come to group today and had to drag herself there. She was teary-eyed (and so was I) when she told us that we are fortunate to have such wonderful support from our families and friends, as she has no one to help her, with her decisions or with anything. I wanted to give her a hug or at least pat her hand, but she glared at me and then she stopped talking. I kinda felt bad, because the rest of us can relate at some way or another to our treatments because we all have breast cancer and she was totally lost. She didn't really want any help and suggestions from anyone. It broke my heart... and I again was reminded how blessed I am for all I have.
It was good experience for me. I learned that one lady is having chemotherapy to shrink her tumor, even prior to her having a lumpectomy. I learned that women have alot of spirit and even something as painful and devastating as cancer can bring closeness and comaraderie. Most of the women there were working, taking days off for their treatments. They have travel plans or projects that they are working on or looking forward to. They are living life...it's going on and they are embracing life and not letting the disease stop them. As I looked around and listened as the others shared what they were going through, I was filled with hope again. Someday, we don't have to go to the doctor every week, sometimes twice a week. Someday, we won't have to have as many blood tests or take as many medications. The lady who is finished with her treatments is in another phase and was recommended to attend another class, "Time to Mend". Marta said that when you're done with treatments, it's another very stressful time, because all of a sudden, you don't have all those appointments and medical support that you've had for so long. Wow! never even thought that far ahead.. but it was good to hear.. and it was reassuring to know that Wellness House has that class when i need it.
I will keep K in my prayers. I"ve always know our attitude would play a big part in our recovery. She says she's in alot of pain and if she doesn't have anyone to talk to about it or anyone who empathizes with her, that's gotta be devastating. I pray that she will allow us to be of comfort to her. i pray that she will meet friends where she lives and that she will not shut others out. I am grateful that there are people who fund the Wellness House and other organizations like it... I'm glad there are people who want to help people like us and our families... when I listen to the news, all I hear are bad things about people... when i went to the Wellness House today, I was reminded that love, care, support and the human spirit is still there... I was reminded that God still touches people's hearts and they are still responding. Who is in our community? Are you giving comfort to someone else? Are you allowing yourself to receive comfort as well?
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