Doctor's Visit

Forgive me for not blogging as often as I wished. Tuesday was a big day as I had a doctor's appointment with Dr. Sarkar, 1 week post-op. While sitting in the waiting room, we figured out that we were scheduled to see her at the wrong time but since we were there already, she saw me anyways. So far so good.. she has recommended i move around as much as possible, even walking in the mall (since it's been about 9 degrees outside on average) even for just a little bit. She will call me when the final pathology report comes back, then I don't see her again for 6 months.

Frendell took Ats & I to lunch (at a little Mexican place not too far from the house, fast becoming our favorite Mex rest), so we enjoyed some soup and burritos and rice and beans. So we drove up to the house, thankful that we can get back inside since it's really cold outside when Frendell realized that he did not have a house key at all. Yes, we called that an ADD moment. He had grabbed the car keys (Froy has given us the gift of car auto-start so there had been an exchange of keys, etc) but forgot to check if there were house keys with it. Well, we had to get back in the car and drove to Froy's work (about 45 mins away - thank goodness here was no traffic yet) to get his housekey. Thank goodness he had his with him. So, we got to see Froy for like a minute :-) and he had to go back to work. We drove back home, now it was really traffic. By the time we got settled in, I was done and called it a day.  It's very difficult to find a comfortable position and I'm just thankful when I'm able to get even a few hours of sleep.

Wednesday, we were gonna be ambitious and try to go to Costco so I can walk around and get some exercise. So, Ats  prepared our ritual for baths and I thought I could get by without my binder, since I sit down to shower anyways. Well, by the time I was done and dressed and ready to go, I was so tired and it was still cold outside, that I decided I will take a nap instead. Long story short, we didn't get to go to Costco and it is quite frustrating to me that I get so tired after taking a shower.  My pain was more last night, as I took meds back to back, so I slept for several hours longer than I've been able to before.  The surgeon suggested taking Tylenol extra strength during the day, if I wanted something to keep the edge off and not take my regular pain pill. I tell you, it's difficult when you're in a place where you're in pain, but don't want to feel it but are not able to sleep, so you try to move around but no matter what you do, it does not alleviate anything. Sometimes it drives me nuts. I'm sure i'm driving Frendell & Ats crazy as well... I try not to complain but can't help that moan from escaping sometimes.

Today we go to see the plastic surgeon. I sure hope he takes at least one of my drains off. Ats has started calling them "my balls".  I was laughing so hard yesterday because she was teasing me about them and many times it hurts to laugh but it's good for you because it focuses away from the pain. I laughed so much that I think that's why I ended up taking a nap. We'll see what the Dr. Van Deveender will say today. It's supposed to warm up later today, so maybe we can go for a walk after the dr's appt. We'll see how I feel.

Sometimes i wonder if people really think I'm so obsessed with my vanity, my hair, etc. Maybe I am, maybe its an escape. It used to worry me what others will think. Today, I don't even care anymore. Yesterday, as i was doing my hair, it came to my awareness that this has been a way for me to focus on something else aside from all the pain and marring that I've had to go through lately. It may be pretty selfish for now, but it's what keeps me from going insane in some moments. When I had the back surgery last March, I felt alot of pain but could not really see the scar. I even told my neurosurgeon I'm gonna get a tatoo on my lowerback to commemorate that surgery.We laughed about it and he said he wanted to see it when it was done.  I can still remember my first breast surgery last October when I removed my bandage in front of the mirror and cried for the first time because I knew it'd never be the same from that moment on. So I'm sorry for those who feel I have been obsessed with how I look, from my hair, to lack of make-up, to what I'm wearing. Sometimes it's the only thing to talk about for the moment that does not hurt... 

Which reminds me, I need to get my nails done... I think I've scratched everyone here lately :-)  

Have a great day everyone and thanks for listening to me ramble on and on...