So this past week has been full of doctors appointments. Saw the plastic surgeon yesterday and talked about the pain in the reconstructed area, as well as the armpit and upper arm area. Of course, he re-iterated that the numbness, tingling and pain in the axilla and upper arm area are due to the nerves cut during the mastectomy and may take time to heal, if they ever regenerate. I know this cognitively... but it's harder to reconcile in my mind when I have shooting pain and tightness and all sorts of fun things going on there. He gave me leave to think about having another surgery again, to fix the reconstructed area and completely close the wound. He said this may or may not help with the pain. He told me to take as much time as I need to to decide. I'm not sure what to do. If I'm to have another surgery, a part of me wants to get it done and over with, so that the healing just continues. But a big part of me is not yet ready to go under the knife again. Plus, I need to know what the insurance will say about another procedure...
No matter how many times we've gone there and talked to him, I can't get used to the fact that I have to disrobe and we have to sit there and talk about my boobs and figure out what may be causing it's pain and how to fix it. He is very professional and always includes Frendell in the discussion, but I still get embarrassed about it. Of course, I forgot to ask him why my scars hurt... even though I already know the answer, I think. Oh well...
I continue with the side effects... stomach ache, nausea, funny taste in my mouth, tiredness... Frendell took me out to eat for dinner, and even the salad tasted funny to me. Imagine that... and I love salad. I couldn't sleep again until about 3:30 a.m. and woke up at 7 a.m. I am getting the sleeping aid prescription filled today and will take it tonight... I hope I will be able to sleep, I am very tired and my mind is very tired and I need to rest... or be distracted enough to rest. Next week brings more appointments... and PT still needs to scheduled... will it ever end?
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