Porch Bites

Last night was the first time in a very long time that we've been able to sit out for a couple of hours outside and enjoy dinner. The weather was so cool outside that Frendell cleaned off the table and chairs on the back porch and we had dinner there. There are so many things to talk about that do not center on cancer or treatments or PT appointments... and although there were bits and pieces of these that came into the conversation, we were able to bring to the table other things that have been put in the back burner because of cancer. I had always known that Frendell's been holding in so much of how he's feeling and have taken all the responsibility for me and I think that being able to acknowledge that last night and how its affected him has helped both of us. I hope that we have many more cooler nights and will be able to sit outside on the porch, eating dinner and talking and being eaten by the mosquitoes who dared to fly about on a cool July summer night.

It was a difficult day to begin with. He had a meeting after church and then had to hurry because we had a memorial to attend, where he spoke. This is our 3rd memorial in as many months... and something in you is touched every time you go to one and your mortality is blatantly displaced each time and ultimately the question that I always ask is, "How will people remember me when I'm gone?" It's a very disturbing question... one that I cannot avoid even if I wanted to. What legacy am I leaving each day? What footprints will they see from me? Our friend Gloria was a very generous person. She was known for her generosity by all she came in contact with. All the people who got up and talked about their memories of her all spoke of her faith in in God, her generosity and her ability to put boundaries. Gloria specialized in the area of addictions and she was great at what she did. Her colleagues spoke of her compassion for her patients and yet she was able to put the boundaries they needed to steer them in the direction of recovery. She was also a big encourager to further one's education. She is a big advocate for women and equality for women... but after her love for her family, I remember her most for her love of the opera. I had the privilege of being able to go with Gloria and our other friend Dora to the opera a couple of times several years ago. It was a magical time for me.. I loved the music, the tension of a love triangle that had to be resolved - tragedy and drama in costume... most of all, I loved the camaraderie that we shared for the evening. it was nice to be able to see members from West Central we hadn't see in 10 years... God has been faithful to all of us and it was a reason to celebrate and rejoice that we had all been touched by a life that had been faithful to Him. Cancer may have taken her life now, but her spirit lives on in each of us, because she touched our lives...

Last Thursday, I was able to go and meet up with my friend Barb (finally!!) from way back when I first started at Cook County eons of moons ago. Barb has 2 beautiful sons who are so smart and adorable and have the most polite manners. They called me one time to apologize because they fought with each other while I was on the phone with their Mom and she had to get off the phone to straighten out the problem. So cute!! We had a great time catching up with each other's lives and of course, she told me how to take care of my plantar fascitis. Yes, Barb is one of my PT friends. So, I need to make some appointments sometime to get some inserts and night splints. The tip that she gave that I thought was clever (she's had plantar fascitis herself as she is a runner) is to freeze a bottle of water and use that as the ice, because you can roll your foot over it and cool the whole bottom of your foot. I did that and it did help me :-) I think the tape is helping me too and I'm hoping I won't need the inserts if I just tape my foot for a while. We reminisced about the dangers of driving through some of these neighborhoods we used to go to.. the ones you hear on the news nowadays where there have been shootings and such. Barb has always cautioned me to take care of my health and watch my stress level. She continues to encourage me to take my time to heal and go back to work when I'm ready. I hope we'll be able to meet again soon.. even though she's very busy with her boys and work and things...

The session with Dr. Mumby went very well. I have homework sheets that I need to fill out. She was very pleased that I did so well during my week alone :-) I was too and I'm glad that we were able to talk about skills I used to make it through the week and how I can continue with this train of thought. We'll see how it goes this coming 2 weeks. I need to do my homework sheets.

so that's what new lately. The summer's going by so quickly... and Frendell's birthday is coming up and I don't know what to do for him and we have a trip to California coming up and then so many other things coming up... And I am glad that I am well enough to at least be partially able to participate in these small tidbits of life that happen everyday. I must be thankful for the opportunity given to me to spend time with family and friends and be able to learn again about life and gratitude and time together. Legacy...

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good..."