Winter Get-away

So I'm following the doctor's orders and will be going to California this Friday to visit family for my winter get-away. It was very hard trying to coordinate with the cancer center here and the doctor's office out there to figure out my treatment and all. I finally have the medication and pray that I do not get stopped at the security point. I do have some documentation that it's for me.. my sister said they allow you to take needles on board, so I shouldn't have a problem there.

My power cord died on my computer today, so I had to buy a new one. Aarrgghh.. I thought those things lasted until your computer died. I had to get fingerprinted for me to get re-credentialed for EI. I'm feeling stressed with all the things I have to get ready before I leave. I'm trying hard to focus.... and have resorted to writing things down.

Frendell & I have been going through the 'Recovery from Depression" videos to get ready for this seminar. I think he's starting it this week-end at Chicago Fil-am so I won't be there in the beginning. We're excited to see how things work out and how many people this will help. We're doing the things they recommend for treatment too, so it's helping me combat my 'distressed' state. I think being out in California will help me beat the winter blues coz hopefully they'll have more sunshine there. It was nice to get the sun yesterday but when I went out today, I was freezing again!!

thank you to all of you dear friends and family, who called and emailed after my very depressing blog last time. I really appreciate your thoughts and your concerns. I am feeling better, coughing has subsided and no more fever... If I can just remember to pack the right things, I will be alright :-)

Hanging by a thread

I apologize to those of you who follow my blog on a regular basis. I have been feeling so disconnected and out of it for while that even though I have alot of feelings and thoughts to share, it's mainly running through my head. When I saw the oncologist earlier this month, she was encouraging me to talk about it and advised me to go 'on vacation' to get away from the routine of hospital and treatment. She is trying to make arrangements now with my brother's physician out in California so I can visit family out there and not skip a treatment or cut my trip short. She and her nurse, Janine, have been so nice to set this all up. Hopefully it all works out.

I think I am finally allowing myself to grieve all the losses that have happened in the last several months. I had barely enough time to process my own loss of health and career before our church experienced so many deaths in such a short period of time. It started out in April and as of this week, there have been 7 people who have died... 5 from cancer, grandpa and someone else from other reasons. I thought I was handling it well... and some of the times I was. There is a part of me that keeps waiting for the 'old me' to show up and I'm still waiting. The doctor told me that my energy level will probably be compromised for a long while, as this is a side effect. I still wake up with numbness and tingling and pain in the bottom of my feet. I still have pain and when I used my right arm alot, I have throbbing pain on top of the numbness and tingling. This is a part of the 'new me' and I'm not handling it very well. I still have trouble sleeping at times, although I've started using 'light therapy' to help reset my circadian rhythm. I think it's starting to work.

I'm so very blessed to have family that cares and takes care of me. Frendell, inspite of his own busy schedule and so many projects going on right now, continues to give me the encouragement I need. His family came out for Christmas and New Year... so, even though we felt disconnected, they came and connected us right back in. Our church families showed us that they love us in so many different ways as well.... they have provided for our needs in more ways than we can say thank you for. I talked to Pat on Christmas day and she was very patient in listening to me and all the things I'm struggling with. And she very wisely told me to hang in there... that things won't always be this way and I won't always feel disconnected. She very wisely told me that 'this too shall pass'. So, even though I feel like I'm hanging by a thread, that thread is giving me hope that maybe tomorrow or the next day or the next week, the clouds will start to clear up and the threat of hope I'm hanging by will become stronger and become a rope and life, although changed, will once again be full of meaning and purpose... and even though I miss all the people who have died this year, I can look forward to seeing them again in heaven.

I apologize for rambling and if this doesn't make sense... I just wanted to post something. Kuya Danny died on January 4th... he's a family friend who battled with colon cancer for several years, Ive known him since I was a baby coz our Moms are best friends, almost like family... last Tuesday, we heard that Auntie Sarah died in the PI... she was diagnosed wtih lung cancer late October... she was my prayer partner at church; she always prayed for me and Frendell and never failed to let me know..... then Friday, I heard that a couple who is so close to our hearts suffered the loss of their baby and we are heartbroken with them.... sometimes there is so much loss and tragedy that I have a hard time processing and keeping up with it.... sometimes all I can do is hang in there... I hope you all have a great week.... hope... the thread that binds us all together....

Disconnected

It's been awhile since I've posted here. It's the Christmas season and yet I feel so disconnected from everything. So many things have happened since the last time I posted. On Dec 4th, Auntie Presidia Sagrado went home to be with the Lord. She was Mom to our good friends Presa, Amabel, Heidy, Alden, Ligaya, Noel and Joneth. In a way, it happened so suddenly but in the end we were all glad that she died peacefully, as if she just went to sleep. We watched some of the most tender last moments of Auntie's and Uncle Sal's lives... he was so comforting and loving to her until the very end. We grieve with our friends for her loss.. this has been a very difficult year, as we have had so many funerals this year. All of them have affected us in different ways and yet the end result is the same... we will miss someone we love and care for and life will be just a little bit different now because we feel the loss.

I just can't rouse myself to feel the Christmas spirit. I've been searching for the Christmas CDs and I still can't find them... at this rate, it'll be 4th of July by the time I find them. Maybe we'll have to have a Christmas in July celebration instead. I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. Frendell asked me if I wanted to put up the tree. Initially, i wanted to... was even excited about it. But when I thought of the emotional energy and physical energy it would take to do it, I opted not to. So, he found some little Christmas decor that we've put around the house and that's the extent of our holiday spirit. Mom & Dad arrived last Monday, so that has helped us get more excited as the holiday is approaching. Looking forward to having Winnchee and Bryan come on Christmas day. I continue to have difficulty with sleeping, although when i use the blue light for therapy, it does make me sleepier earlier at night. I am hoping that my circadian rhythm will be closer to normal soon.

Tonight we will go to church for Christmas service. I know that 'my feelings' are tangential and not always reliable. So even though I feel disconnected with Christmas, I cannot help but feel thankful that Jesus would come down to save me. The children's department at Chicago Fi-am did a wonderful program last Sabbath about "The Best Christmas Present Ever". And they sung and talked about a Baby who came down from heaven so that He could offer the world salvation. It is indeed the best Christmas present ever. This gives me so much hope and I am thankful that He loves me enough to come to earth for me. I am so thankful and grateful for my family, who never ceases to share their love and affection and care, whether or not I express my love and affection and care on a consistent basis. I am so blessed to have such caring and thoughtful friends, who continue to show their love in so many different ways... whether by taking me to lunch, calling or emailing me, sending me a card, giving me baked goods that they made, inviting me to their house to hang out and relax while I wait for Frendell to finish with his meetings, inviting me to the museum... so many acts of kindness and love. I am grateful for our church families, who continue to show their support and love in so many different ways... from praying for us all the way to giving us gifts and food, I have so many blessings to be thankful for. God continues to show His love in so many ways, often tangible. Treatments continue and so do the side effects... but praise the Lord for He helps me through them.... and that is one Christmas gift I am thankful for....

Windows of Hope Project

Today, Michelle R. and I packed 4 boxes to send to the Philippines... boxes full of Bibles, clothes, towels, some toys and some school supplies. I am so grateful that she took the time to help me as I am still in pain and have been trying to pack box by box. It has been taking a very long time. Gave me time to reminisce our time last year when we were there for a mission trip. The things we take for granted here could help so many there. I am so glad we are able to help there where we can... and I am so thankful for our family and friends who helped with this project. Windows of Hope is the name of our project of sending much needed to supplies to the Philippines. I am very tired and very sore but I am so glad we got it done and now it can be sent on its way.

Yesterday I went to the cancer center for my treatment. The place was beautifully decorated with Christmas trees and holly and white lights. In the main lobby, they had the tree that was in Cardinal Bernardine's home when he was still alive and living here in Chicago. His estate lends it every Christmas to the cancer center that was named for him. There were more kids in my clinic yesterday as well. It touches my heart how brave these kids are. So many of them had lost their hair due to chemotherapy. It was neat to see parents trying to hard to make life normal for these kids. One family of 3 had their backpacks with their school work and books to read while their brother was getting treatment. A teacher was there for an hour as well. They're all staying at the Ronald McDonald house during this time. We are so fortunate that we have these kinds of services here. One kid was playing by the tree and the Mom made a comment that she was glad they had trees up, as her son has been asking for one and she hasn't had the energy to put one up. I felt the same way... as much as I want to put up a tree, I know I do not have the energy to put into it. Besides, I think we donated our tree away last year. Frendell did find our creche and some little decorations and we put those around the house and that will be our Christmas decor for this year. A part of me was sad that I don't have the energy to do all the things I used to do for Christmas.. I miss that... and yet a part of me is glad that I can focus more on the more important things.... like contemplating on God's greatest gift for us.

We are having snow flurries as I write this... winter is here and the Christmas spirit is in the air... so many things to be thankful for, so many blessings to count. May you feel the joy of the season...

My friend Sally

You've heard me talk about my friend Sally. We worked together years ago at Cook County Hospital here in Chicago. She is a Developmental Therapist who showed compassion and empathy to all the families we worked with. She also challenged me to always fight for those children we served. Sally has been fighting a devastating disease for several years now and yet inspite of her challenges, she always found ways to contact me and let me know she's thinking of me and praying for me when I had my surgeries and started my treatment... I honor her for her courage and faith and love. Sally, you are my hero and I am blessed to have you in my life. It is an honor for me to share a little bit of your story... please read more about Sally and her family...

I just thought I'd share this sermon my brother Andy gave this past Sunday. I had a REALLY rough week and had been in intensive care, something that really upset him so he decided to preach about it. I must say I was stunned when he sent me a copy of his sermon seeing as though he still harbors ill feelings for how much I dominated him as a child and adolescent! (I can only imagine how it felt for his younger sister to ride a 2 wheeler before him, beat him in basketball, skiing, and football!) However, reading this makes me very proud of the man of God he has developed into and the awareness he is helping to bring to our battle with mito!

Sermon given by Pastor Andrew Kukla

on 11-15-2009 at Palms Presbyterian Church, Jacksonville Beach, FL

Daniel 12:1-8

"At that time Michael, the great prince, the protector of your people, shall arise. There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone who is found written in the book. 2 Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. 3 Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever. 4 But you, Daniel, keep the words secret and the book sealed until the time of the end. Many shall be running back and forth, and evil shall increase."

5 Then I, Daniel, looked, and two others appeared, one standing on this bank of the stream and one on the other. 6 One of them said to the man clothed in linen, who was upstream, "How long shall it be until the end of these wonders?" 7 The man clothed in linen, who was upstream, raised his right hand and his left hand toward heaven. And I heard him swear by the one who lives forever that it would be for a time, two times, and half a time, and that when the shattering of the power of the holy people comes to an end, all these things would be accomplished. 8 I heard but could not understand; so I said, "My lord, what shall be the outcome of these things?" 9 He said, "Go your way, Daniel, for the words are to remain secret and sealed until the time of the end.

I’m going to step out of the pulpit for a moment to tell you about one of my enemies. I grew up with three sisters. My two older sisters are 9 and 6 years older than I am. My parents had stopped having children after they had two. That’s right: I’m an accident. Now a lot of people over the years have gotten concerned when I say that and they tell me: there are no accidents in the eyes of God. (They say that in just that tone of voice too!) I’m not going to debate that with them… its beside the point – because to my parents I was very much an accident, which is just a reality which never changed the fact that I was always loved… but having had an accident my parents didn’t want me to feel like the younger child who got left out of things so they had a fourth child: an intentional accident! My younger sister is only 15 months younger than I am and her name is Sally. For years I have joked with my parents that they could have stopped with me, I would have managed just fine. In middle school I even did a school photo project that introduced my sister Sally as “the enemy”. We’ve had our clashes, and like any siblings whose lives are lived so close together – we’ve always been each others best critics.

However, today – I don’t mention Sally to tell you about an enemy – but about how she is one of my heroes. That she is for me a wonderful witness of faithfulness, strength, and hope. You see my sister Sally, and her two children have mitochondrial disease. If you do not know what that is, don’t worry – almost no one else does either. It reared its ugly head in my sister’s life during her pregnancy with her first child, a son named Callum. It wasn’t diagnosed until about four years later, and in the mean time she was treated for a whole onslaught of problems she never really had. She had upwards of ten brain surgeries for pseudo-tumor cerebri… a condition they couldn’t fix because she didn’t have it. She was told by countless doctors, and even friends, that this was all just in her head. She was even investigated by the Department of Children and Family Services for making it up and creating symptoms in her children. All the while life for her got harder and more depressing, when it should have been at its best.

Let take a step back for a minute so I can tell you bit more about Sally. In a family that enjoyed athletics: tennis, gymnastics, golf, skiing… she was always the best of us. She was a junior olympian gymnast – she was always the strong and capable one. One thing that gave her even greater joy than sports was children. She loved children and spent every free hour babysitting. In fact my parents actually worried that in High school she would get pregnant just to so she could always have a baby around. She was a born mother. She brought home animals to care for, she cared for other people’s kids all the time – she was like the consummate baby sitter, and she even made friends with a teenage mother and brought that mom and her 6 week old son to our house to live with us. She was just born to be a mom – and she was, and is, great at it… on a good day. But here is the crime. She doesn’t get many good days. And her bad days are really bad. And here when her life should have been fulfilled with all she wanted it to be – life instead became an every day battle for enough energy to climb out of bed, eat, and make it through the day.

She’s had her validations – like when they discovered the actual chromosome that had mutated in her genetics and started her family’s battle with mitochondrial disease. And it wasn’t an empty victory – because it’s always good to confirm that you were right and so many others were wrong… and wrongfully accused you, and dismissed you. The victory however doesn’t come with solutions. There isn’t a cure for mitochondrial disease. It’s a disease that robs your body of its ability to correctly turn food and oxygen into the energy your cells need to correctly function. This happens differently in everyone who is affected by the disease – but generally it creates a body that is slowly – and sometimes quickly – degenerating and losing its ability to function. A child under the age of 5 who is diagnosed with the disease has only a 20% chance to live to the age of 20. This is the horrible reality my sister has had to face. That every day she wakes up and she has every reason to believe it will be worse than the day before. That any given week will likely involve a visit to the Emergency room. That each of her children needs to attend several therapy sessions a week, and sometimes even in a single day. That her two year old daughter still needs to have a permanent feeding tube in order to get enough nourishment to live – let alone grow. That every room in her house looks like a medicine closet. That in a life without enough energy to do basic functions she somehow needs to summon enough energy to go through superhuman efforts on a daily basis to attempt something like a normal life.

In the words of fellow mitochondrial disease sufferer, Brittany Wilkinson in her song, Energy for Life, “Every day I live gets harder than the day before, every step I take hurts just a little more. Every breath I make feels like it takes a breath away, every thought I have is trying to stop this endless pain, but I’m still here – and I’m still strong. This body may be breaking but my heart still beats on, I’m still here so I’ll still fight, with a never dying spirit that provides my energy for life.”

You can find the song on the internet… its now as much a tribute as a song of awareness and testimony, because Brittany died on September 6th of this year. And I know that my sister must, on many days, wake and wonder if today is her day – or her son Callum’s day… or her daughter Caleigh’s day… And yet my sister is my hero because, on her good days, she – like Brittany – has a never dying spirit that provides energy for life.

I do not share this with you to make you weep for Sally – though that would not be bad thing. I do not share it with you to simply share some of my pain on behalf of a family member. I share them because we all have Sally in our lives – and some of us are Sally. We all can, when we think about it, when we allow ourselves to, actually feel and acknowledge the pain and injustice and recognize the harsh, horrible, not-the-way-its-supposed-to-be reality of a life lived in knowing that each day has less hope than the day before… that the journey seems to be nothing more than a journey to death…

We all are Sally, or know her – in one way or another… and if you think you don’t – then you need to open your eyes and your heart a little wider… because there is more pain and more brokenness in the world than we are willing to admit. Your Sally looks different, struggles and suffers different, fights a different battle... maybe its cancer, or depression, or dementia, or life changing injury, or economic struggles and debt… it may, it will, manifest differently – but the darkness and the difficulty of seeing any hope: the despair is the same, and the questions that they provoke are identical.

Rough week

Our November is starting out with a bang. Last Saturday night, we were on our way home from a meeting in the Round Lake/Grayslake area when a buck was hit by a car traveling on the left lane and he landed on the right lane and then we turned and ran right over him. Frendell had no time to stop to avoid him as the other car had just hit him. It was a pretty gruesome experience for me and I must admit that when I opened the car door to try and get out and saw his hind legs right there, I started freaking out. Fortunately Frendell was very calm and he told me to stop freaking out as he was trying to get our car off the buck. His antlers punctured our radiator and condenser and damages are worth over $2000. The tow guy was very unprofessional and rude and he tried to convince Frendell to have our car towed to his friend's place. We told him we had insurance and asked him to tow it to a place that AAA had recommended, just a mile down the street from the accident. Froy came right away to pick us up and for that I am so thankful. It was very cold outside and we couldn't keep our car running because all the fluid had drained out. I am so thankful that God kept us safe, that we didn't get hit by another car following behind us and we didn't run into a ditch. The policeman was very nice and stayed until Froy got there. I was tired and quite disturbed by the whole thing. The policeman said they are having problems with deer lately in that area... overpopulation... one of their car also hit a deer earlier in the week.

I'm back to PT and this week we have a new therapist. He really tried to stretch me and had me do some strengthening exercises. I was very sore and had so much throbbing in y right arm for the next couple of days. Yesterday was a the very first time that I tried a full day schedule doing evaluations. I am so glad I was partnered up with Carol and Cheryl was our service coordinator. I think I was very anxious about how I would do and worried about remembering things. Carol had so graciously offered to drive me to all the evals and do you know what happened? You all think 'chemo brain' may be funny, but when I have moments that I don't remember things, I really hate it and I panic. Well, what a rough morning I had. Had a hard time sleeping the night before, so I had a hard time waking up yesterday morning. So, I was runny very late and finally Frendell and I were on our way. I texted Carol, telling her we were running just a tad late. She said it was fine, but she'll go to the back. That's when it hit me... she was at our house and we were driving to her house. How could I have forgotten that she was going to pick me up? We talked about it just the day before when she came over. How dumb and stupid could I be? So, we agreed that Frendell will just take me to the first home and we'll meet up there. Of course, I burst into tears and I looked at Frendell and asked him, "Do you really think I'm ready to do this?" He looked at me, grabbed my hand and said calmly, "I know you are. It will be okay. You'll be fine". So, we drove to the first home. I am looking around and discovered we were the first ones there. After 5 minutes, I get a call. It was Cheryl. "Glady, are you here already?" "Yes, we are right in front of the house". "So am I", said Cheryl. I told her, "I don't see your car". Cheryl said, "I will get out so you can see me, I am right across from the home". I am looking for Cheryl's car. I asked Frendell to look for both Cheryl's and Carol's cars. I don't see them. Finally Cheryl said, "Are you at ____ South _______ ?" I told her I am at the address that mapquest gave me. Well, as it turns out, there are address that are the same on the north and south sides of this particular street. Both Carol and Cheryl were already at the home and we were parked on the north side and they were on the south side. Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh....... I really was crying by then. I just wanted to go home and go back to bed. I was already tired and we hadn't even started the day yet. Any confidence I thought I had mustered up had gone out the window, evaporated into tears.

I am so fortunate and blessed to have colleagues who believe in me and who are genuinely concerned for me. Both Cheryl and Carol were very understanding, as it is in their nature to be patient, and they told me to take a deep breath and that everything will be fine and will work out. I gathered myself together, kissed Frendell good-bye and thanked him for driving me and letting me know that he believes in me. It was a very long day. Two out of three kids were eligible and both of those evaluations turned out to be challenging. Sometimes I struggled to remember the order of things, how we used to things to make everything flow. Carol and I have worked together for so many years that we had developed some sort of system.... who will do what and who will ask what. I felt out-of-sync since I haven't worked with her in so long. I felt like my rhythm was off and sometimes I felt like my brain was so slow in processing things or coming up with things. After the second evaluation, I was tired and could've used a nap :-) But, we had a 3rd one to do... and it all worked out in the end. I am ever so grateful to Carol for driving me home because I don't think I could've driven home, especially with traffic. I just wanted to go home and lay down. I was so very tired and my right armpit was throbbing. So, that's what I didn't when I got home... went to bed and rested. I am so thankful that I am surrounded by colleagues who care about me and would help me out when I needed them. In spite of the rough beginning yesterday, it turned out to be a very nice day, productive as well. And everything did work out in the end. I am wiling to continue trying it out until I can get back to the swing of things. I didn't want to dwell on lost time, lost anything... I just wanted to make sure that I did the best I could and that I remembered to ask all the things I needed to ask. So now, on to typing up the reports.... and then on the way home, I got a phone call that I am getting audited... another stressor..... aaarrrggghhhhhh...... fortunately, I only have ONE file they're going to review... could you believe it? I've done one evaluation and they're already on it for review..... why did I hurry back to work again????

Autumn Leaves

As I am writing this, I am looking outside and watching some red/yellow/orange leaves either fluttering to the ground or waving as the wind is gently blowing. I can't quite believe that it's been a year since our mission trip to the Philippines. We left Nov 6th last year, 2 weeks after my first surgery from diagnosis. Before we left, we had meetings with the medical team and I learned that I had to have another surgery when I got back, since they couldn't get clearance to do radiation. Memories of those times came back to me, as I was back at the cancer center a couple of times this week, first for my shot and then yesterday for ultrasound. I told the nurse that the tingling and pins/needles on my feet, plus cold sensations continue, and now I do have the same sensations in my hands, although it doesn't happen as often in my hands. This past week, I am starting to notice that I have twitching on my lower lip.... sometimes it's annoying coz it wakes me up at night. The itching is also still there. I had to go for an ultrasound yesterday. I'm so glad the technician was so very nice and understanding and even though it was invasive, she was very professional and gave me time to relax. The worst part of getting tests done is the waiting... waiting for them to start, waiting for it to be done, then waiting for the radiologist to read it.... waiting to see if you the pictures were good enough or you need more tests done. I only waited for maybe 10 minutes for the doctor to look over my pictures but I it felt like 2 hours. When the tech came back, she said that the results would be forwarded to my oncologist and other doctors and they will discuss with me the results. More waiting...

Our heater broke down this week and I have been so cold, I have started wearing socks and layers of clothes to bed. Frendell thought I was ill for sure, as this is the first time I have ever done it. We have had to rely on a portable heater in our room, and the heating guy was finally able to come and fix the heat yesterday. I still sometimes feel cold, but at least my teeth aren't chattering anymore :-)

Monday, I was able to finally meet up with my friend, Bernadette, Bernie as I fondly call her. She and I worked together at Cook County Hospital when I first started there, when it was still called Cook County Hospital. Bernie is a speech therapist, married with 2 children. Beautiful family... she's into digital scrapbooking and she was kind enough to bring pictures with her so I could see her family. I have always loved Bernie's energy and confidence and I learned alot from her when we worked together. She would never allow me to be timid and be intimated and she would always tell me to be assertive and go for what I want. She's still the same Bernie, encouraging me to go forward and giving me energy and hope and encouragement. I hope it won't take a couple of years to see her again... I've missed her....

I am blessed in so many ways. I will have the opportunity to work again with Carol, and this time with our friend Cheryl, next week. I am so excited and yet apprehensive. They have been so patient with me and I am ever so grateful for their help. I am praying my cold does not get any worse. I am trying to do something everyday so that I can continue to build up my endurance. My PT has given me new exercises.. she's trying to see if the numbness/tingling on my feet are not from the scar tissue due to my back surgery. Tuesday night, Emillie and Don came over for a visit. Emillie has so graciously offered to help me raise money for Hope International, a charitable organization that lends money to people in 3rd world countries so they can have industry/business to earn a living. She made necklaces, bracelets and earrings to sell and she raised some money already for it. I am thankful to her, for she has taken the time to help me and this wonderful organization.. we had a wonderful visit and also saw some of Don's photographs. He has a good eye for taking pictures... I loved hearing his ideas for stories he wants to tell through pictures.

Frendell and I are packing up a couple of boxes to send to the Philippines. He was finally able to buy some Bibles from money that some of our members donated. We also have some clothes that our friends have donated, so I'm trying to put them all together in these boxes. I tell you, it is sometimes very hard to bend down while carrying things. I wished so many times that my sister, Ate Grace, were here. She is the expert balikbayan box packer and I could've have used her. I didn't know how to organize everything and in the end, I think I just dumped things in the first box. We are still waiting to see if more things will be donated, so I'm holding off packing up the 2nd box completely. If you would like to donate some things to be send to the typhoon victims in the Philippines, please let me know and we'd be happy to include your donations in our box. They have requested for towels, children's clothes, toiletries, school supplies... just to name a few.

Blessings are so easy to miss when I don't look for them. I am so grateful for my family, my friends, my church families... I am so glad we have health insurance and a car that still runs and warm jackets to wear... and for Presa, who lent me her coat last night since I foolishly forgot my coat when we left home.. I am thankful that I am now able to get around more, have more energy and as my PT said, "you don't look as puffy and swollen anymore". As I am vain, I am thankful I am not as puffy anymore. I didn't even realize and know that I had looked puffy.... why didn't any of you tell me????!!!!????

Okay, so that's how my first week of November has started.... busy and cold and rainy.... but I love fall and even though most of the leaves have fallen, I love the crispness of the air, the bright sunny days and longer nights. God has been so faithful and gracious and I am grateful that He gave me this time to be able to reminisce about my experiences from last year... I know it could've been a totally different story; I may not have been given the chance to tell my story... I pray and hope that as I am given the opportunity to share, that I will give honor and glory to His name and let others know that we all have hope if we take the journey with Him.