oncology visit

Yesterday I had an appointment to see Dr. Robinson. It was eerily quiet for a Wednesday morning clinic; but then again it was the day before Thanksgiving and so maybe lots of people rescheduled their clinic appointments. I walked in through the glass door and the receptionist, Candy, greeted me by name. They are all very friendly at this clinic - one of the reasons I like coming here... but it really hit me how many times I've been there. People ask about my holiday plans, ask where my husband is (he usually comes in with me), am I cooking? am I staying in town or going to Cali? Wow! Not only do they treat my cancer, they really do treat my spirit as well. They are interested in me and my well-being. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for so many things and one of them is that I have wonderful medical care and wonderful medical people who care about me. They have become my friends in this sterile world of cancer...


Dr. R is always an inspiration to me. She encourages me to travel, to do as much as I can handle but also to watch my stress level. She wants to make sure I am getting enough rest and sleep. She told me that she needs to speak with the endocrinologist because the thyroid medicine may be affecting the meds I'm taking for the cancer. Because I am in a study, she checked with the protocol board if I can take another medicine but was told no, it had to be this particular one. And, so far, it is the best medicine for the type of cancer I had. So, she will call Dr. M to figure out if I can take a different one for the thyroid. I showed her how my eye is retracting again and that the eye disease has not stabilized yet. I sure hope it will soon so maybe I don't have to have another surgery; but if it continues at the rate its going, i will need to have surgery again I think. I see oculoplastics in 2 weeks so we'll see what he says. Another thing we talked about was the lymphedema... I've had more swelling and a lot more pain on that arm, so she told me to massage it at least twice a day and put on my sleeve...


When I walked out of clinic E back upstairs to wait for Frendell, I couldn't help but notice that there were a lot of people there now. I guess cancer does not take the day off for the Thanksgiving holiday. People were there getting chemo, getting their blood work done, waiting for their doctors. I myself had to go to the Oakbrook campus to get my blood work done. I walked in the clinic and there was a long line of people checking in. I thought everyone would be driving/flying to grandma's house for Thanksgiving. Anyways, I had to wait for a little while but got it done. I'm there once a month so the lab tech is also starting to remember me and what's going on with me. 


Later on, I saw my patient. Poor thing was sick and was wheezing so we just took it easy for therapy. Last evening, we had our Thanksgiving program at church. I was so tired and exhausted but I really wanted to attend. It has been 3 years since I've been able to go to the Thanksgiving program on Wed night. Two years ago, we were in the Philippines for our mission trip in November and we arrived home on Thanksgiving day, so we missed that. Last year, I don't think I felt well enough to go so I missed that too. This year, I actually feel like I'm coming out of the fog and even though I was tired, I didn't have a cold and didn't have a lot of nausea, so I was happy to be able to go. It was a long program though and it was midnight before we were able to leave for home.


I know I am thankful, first and foremost to God, for He is good, His mercy and love overwhelms me. Second, I am thankful for my wonderful Mahal; this man never complains about driving me to different Loyola campuses so I can see my doctors, get my blood work done, get tests and scans done.... he waits with me in sterile looking waiting rooms and holds my hand to warm me up and to reassure me that he is there with me. Third, I am thankful for our families and our friends, both by birth and by choice/adoption, far and near, they touch us with their love and unwavering support. It is humbling to know how much people love and care for us. Fourth, I am speechless at the love and support our church families continue to give us. They have been through this whole journey with us, from my back injury/surgery, through the cancer and now with Graves disease. They have given emotional, spiritual and tangible support and have touched us in more ways than we can imagine.  Fifth, I am thankful for the many opportunities that have been given me. I am able to work more these days. But most importantly, I think, is the realization of what "gift" having cancer has brought me. I know two things have more clarity for me today: a. my faith is secure in a God who is alive and loves me no matter what and it is to my benefit to remember that He is there with me, no matter what challenges I am facing; and b. I am not thankful that i have had to experience pain and loss, for both have been great and hard for me, but that in spite of pain and loss, I can be thankful and have an attitude of gratitude. It is more clear to me now that I can give praise and honor and thanks to God no matter how dire the situation looks, no matter how much in pain I am, no matter how hard life seems to be. For He knows; for He is good; for His mercy endures forever.


I have so many things to be thankful for, today I am so thankful I am alive and am able to experience community with others. So, as you look around your Thanksgiving table today, remember to say a word of thanks, for those who are there and for those who have gone ahead, for each life has meaning and each life that surrounds you has touched you and changed you. What a humbling opportunity.... the power to change and influence a life. Hope indeed... happy Thanksgiving!!