Back to Reality

I had a wonderful time in Maryland/DC with Winnchee and Bryan. I tried to see as many places as I could, even with my aching foot :-) and decreased energy level. Traveling is harder these days, but I am still glad that I am able to go and see other places and visit family and friends there. It was a very nice diversion and I am glad that I was able to go away from the cancer center and treatments and doctors appointments. But all good things sometimes do come to an end. And today I am back to reality. Another shot today. I don't know if I'll ever get used to going to the cancer center and knowing that people are looking at me or at Frendell and trying to figure out which of us has cancer. I guess I'm a dead give-away right now because I do wear a sleeve on my right arm. After I check in, I usually have to sit and wait for them to call me, then the nurse will have to walk to the pharmacy to get my medicine, then she has to prepare it and mix it and find a room and then I get my shot. Today, I saw Dr. Robinson briefly. She checked to see if the itching is still there... it is and just as often, even if I hadn't wore the prosthesis in about a month. And with examination, palpation and symptoms, she told me i had some inflammation on my intercostal muscles, that's why I have been having some chest pains in the last couple of weeks. So, for now, i will continue to monitor and take note of when it happens, what other symptoms I'm having and I can take naprocin for the pain if it persists. I'm not exactly sure how I got the inflammation; it may also be some strain on the intercostal wall as I sometimes carry or pull things that I probably should not do too vigorously.

So, back to treatments, PT appointments, doctors appointments and this month i am scheduled for a mammogram. It has been over a year since I discovered the tumor on my right side and almost a year since that diagnostic mammogram. Almost a year since I was diagnosed. How fast time has flown and yet there were moments when it seemed like time stood still. Last year, I could never have imagined the amount of pain and other things I would go through. I am glad that the pain is somewhat better. Dr. Robinson told me that if something manifests on the other breast, it will be another primary diagnosis again, it will not be an extension of the other side and symptoms will probably not be the same. That helps put my mind at ease somewhat, as I sometimes drive myself crazy thinking that I may be missing something or worrying that they may not have seen everything. I am very fortunate that my medical team is so patient with me and all my questions and concerns and they really go out of their way to reassure me when I need it. And they follow-up with every and any complaint, concern or question I may have. I am very blessed and very fortunate for the great medical care I am receiving from Loyola Cancer Center.

I am watching the documentary "The 102 minutes that changed America"; it is about Sept 11, 2001. I can still remember where I was that day, the horror of watching the towers fall. I am watching the horror and fear on people's faces again and I cannot even imagine going through that. It looked like a nuclear war zone. When we visited Ground Zero a couple of years ago and toured the place, it was so devastating to see the ruins, knowing what happened on that fateful day. The chaos, the fear, the damages, the people who died, the confusion... and through it all, there were so many who emerged as heroes.. people who risked their lives to help others. The human spirit, though broken, prevails.