Porch Bites

Last night was the first time in a very long time that we've been able to sit out for a couple of hours outside and enjoy dinner. The weather was so cool outside that Frendell cleaned off the table and chairs on the back porch and we had dinner there. There are so many things to talk about that do not center on cancer or treatments or PT appointments... and although there were bits and pieces of these that came into the conversation, we were able to bring to the table other things that have been put in the back burner because of cancer. I had always known that Frendell's been holding in so much of how he's feeling and have taken all the responsibility for me and I think that being able to acknowledge that last night and how its affected him has helped both of us. I hope that we have many more cooler nights and will be able to sit outside on the porch, eating dinner and talking and being eaten by the mosquitoes who dared to fly about on a cool July summer night.

It was a difficult day to begin with. He had a meeting after church and then had to hurry because we had a memorial to attend, where he spoke. This is our 3rd memorial in as many months... and something in you is touched every time you go to one and your mortality is blatantly displaced each time and ultimately the question that I always ask is, "How will people remember me when I'm gone?" It's a very disturbing question... one that I cannot avoid even if I wanted to. What legacy am I leaving each day? What footprints will they see from me? Our friend Gloria was a very generous person. She was known for her generosity by all she came in contact with. All the people who got up and talked about their memories of her all spoke of her faith in in God, her generosity and her ability to put boundaries. Gloria specialized in the area of addictions and she was great at what she did. Her colleagues spoke of her compassion for her patients and yet she was able to put the boundaries they needed to steer them in the direction of recovery. She was also a big encourager to further one's education. She is a big advocate for women and equality for women... but after her love for her family, I remember her most for her love of the opera. I had the privilege of being able to go with Gloria and our other friend Dora to the opera a couple of times several years ago. It was a magical time for me.. I loved the music, the tension of a love triangle that had to be resolved - tragedy and drama in costume... most of all, I loved the camaraderie that we shared for the evening. it was nice to be able to see members from West Central we hadn't see in 10 years... God has been faithful to all of us and it was a reason to celebrate and rejoice that we had all been touched by a life that had been faithful to Him. Cancer may have taken her life now, but her spirit lives on in each of us, because she touched our lives...

Last Thursday, I was able to go and meet up with my friend Barb (finally!!) from way back when I first started at Cook County eons of moons ago. Barb has 2 beautiful sons who are so smart and adorable and have the most polite manners. They called me one time to apologize because they fought with each other while I was on the phone with their Mom and she had to get off the phone to straighten out the problem. So cute!! We had a great time catching up with each other's lives and of course, she told me how to take care of my plantar fascitis. Yes, Barb is one of my PT friends. So, I need to make some appointments sometime to get some inserts and night splints. The tip that she gave that I thought was clever (she's had plantar fascitis herself as she is a runner) is to freeze a bottle of water and use that as the ice, because you can roll your foot over it and cool the whole bottom of your foot. I did that and it did help me :-) I think the tape is helping me too and I'm hoping I won't need the inserts if I just tape my foot for a while. We reminisced about the dangers of driving through some of these neighborhoods we used to go to.. the ones you hear on the news nowadays where there have been shootings and such. Barb has always cautioned me to take care of my health and watch my stress level. She continues to encourage me to take my time to heal and go back to work when I'm ready. I hope we'll be able to meet again soon.. even though she's very busy with her boys and work and things...

The session with Dr. Mumby went very well. I have homework sheets that I need to fill out. She was very pleased that I did so well during my week alone :-) I was too and I'm glad that we were able to talk about skills I used to make it through the week and how I can continue with this train of thought. We'll see how it goes this coming 2 weeks. I need to do my homework sheets.

so that's what new lately. The summer's going by so quickly... and Frendell's birthday is coming up and I don't know what to do for him and we have a trip to California coming up and then so many other things coming up... And I am glad that I am well enough to at least be partially able to participate in these small tidbits of life that happen everyday. I must be thankful for the opportunity given to me to spend time with family and friends and be able to learn again about life and gratitude and time together. Legacy...

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good..."

Heel Pain

So now that Frendell's back home, we're back to our myriad of medical appointments :-( Last week, I tried to walk everyday and tried to walk longer a couple of times. I think I mentioned in the last blog that I've had heel pain on my left foot. So, today I went to see my trusted PT Linda and she confirmed plantar fascitis. She taped my foot and it feels better although it still hurts when I walk. She's such a great PT and always knows how to patch me up :-) I hope the heel pain goes away soon coz I can't walk very far or very well. In a moment of self-pity last night, I told Frendell that I wished I could have a day without pain (and not taking medication either). I've been in constant pain for the last 19 months that I have forgotten what it's like not to have pain. So, after my moment of self-pity, I'm glad Linda was able to at least relieve some of my heel pain. Tomorrow I'll try to walk it off for a little bit to stretch it.

Last night Frendell attended the husbands'/men's class @ the Wellness House. After 5 months of trying to attend, he was finally able to fit it in his schedule. I'm hoping that he would consent to blog about his experience, as I was not there, so I don't know what they talked about, etc. I'm glad he was finally able to go and meet up with other husbands whose wives also have cancer and either are in treatment or just finished. He said he was glad he attended; he even went to their library to read up on some things. I'm glad that he has someone he can talk to about his feelings and his experience as a caregiver... cancer not only affects the person who gets diagnosed, it affects the whole family, and in turn the whole community. He has had so much to shoulder that I'm surprised he's still able to bear the weight. I will be forever grateful to the Wellness House for their programs that help cancer patients and their families. I sure hope that all of you will join me for their walk October 18, 2009... and if you're not able to walk with me, I hope you'll consider a monetary pledge. So many of us have benefitted from their programs and I for one am glad that they are here to support us in our time of need.

Made it through the week :-)

Can't believe that the week's gone by and Frendell will be coming home tomorrow!! Yeay!! And today, my friend Verna came to visit me after church. We haven't seen each other for so long and it was such a blessing to see her again. We picked up right where we left off and it was so nice just to be able to share with each other how faithful God has been to us. We both have had to face very difficult challenges and praise the Lord for His grace to us and in our lives. She has always challenged my faith and I am so glad that she continues to share her faith and her experiences with me. We had a lovely time.

But I've had a sore throat all week and after she left, I ended up taking a 2-hour nap ;-) My heels are still hurting so I didn't even go for a walk this morning :-( I hope I can figure out why they're hurting... my PT friends, what do you think the problem is?

Anyways, I hope you all had a good Sabbath as well. Have a great week! And remember, I am okay :-)

Pat, Naleesa n Zach in Chicago

You would think that after uploading so many pictures here, i would remember how to do it right. Oh well.. so we'll do this backwards... Ninang Pat, Naleesa and Zach came to visit us after Mission Institute last June. Here, they were on their way home back to Walla Walla. The kids were so excited to go home finally, but we're so glad they stopped over in Chicago before heading West. Really appreciated their visit. Pat told me that Naleesa and Zach pray for me everyday... that just touches my heart...

Two things they wanted to do while they were here: 1) Go to the Shedd Aquarium

So we did... here we were waiting for the rehearsal of Fantasea.. the beluga whales and dolphins just got back from Mystic, Connecticut last May.. they were there for 9 months while renovations were going on at the oceanarium...

Jelly fish... at the Wild Reef

2) Zach wanted to try deep dish pizza... so we went to Giordano's... he ate 2 pieces (or was it 1 1/2) and then declared he was too full to eat more... I think he liked it :-) I love it when people try deep dish and they like it.... Naleesa opted to have spaghetti instead... I don't even think she tried the pizza at all...

Of course, in between, we talked and played Wii (even Pat!!) and Naleesa gave us lovely piano concerts and took walks and ate and enjoyed just spending time together. It's always too short, but Frendell and I were so happy that they stopped by to visit us. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy travel schedules. We hope to visit you in Washington soon... love and miss you guys...

NJ n Olivia @ da Shedd

Can you see the sting ray? NJ and Olivia had to wait a while to get up close coz there were so many people..

The poor otter... at the polar place

Faith, NJ and Olivia... and don't you love how I included myself in the picture??? :-)

And you thought you caught the big one? check out this fish... Livvy even measure her little penguin, she measured at about 1 foot... (the penguin, that is)

And here are the little penguins playing :-)

We had a great time at the Shedd and even saw the rehearsal for their new show, Fantasea. The kids had so much energy and most of the time I sat on the bench, watching them... it was still great though. Thanks for the fun day, you guys... and Pat, thank you so very much for the gift that keeps on giving :-) Love it!!!

Uncle Harvey 3

Uncle Harvey thanked everyone and read an inspiring poem. Again, he inspires and encourages others, inspite of his pain, inspite of his circumstances. I told him that he shows tremendous courage. I got this quote from a book that Norma gave me about Hope:

"Courage is doing what you must when doing what you must is the hardest thing of all".

He always has a smile on his face.... here, he's talking to Sharon

" The pressures and problems that sometimes surround us are often defeated by the courage and strength that are always within us".

Uncle Harvey and me :-)

"...but because I knew you

I have been changed for good"

Uncle Harvey, you told me that God has blessed you with a positive outlook and it has always been your desire, your calling, to inspire and encourage others. I want to let you know that you are living faithfully to your calling. For even though you're going through such a challenging and tremendous ordeal, your faith in God is strong and steadfast, your life and your attitude an inspiration to all of us who have the privilege of knowing you and be able to worship God with you. Thank you for your smiles... Thank you for your faithfulness... you continue to inspire me and give me courage

Uncle Harvey 2

After people gave their tributes and sang songs, there was an annointing service for him. I know what it feels like to be in the middle of that circle. Our friend Jose and our young adults had an annointing service for me before my last surgery last January. There is a certain peace that comes over you when you know that you have placed it all in God's hands. If you've resolved to leave it to His will, if frees you to leave the control to Him.

Theresa and Don

Faith & Olivia, me, Ate Vien and Nicolas

Marla and Gianna (at the hospital when Uncle Harvey was there)

Marla was showing me her latest dance moves.. these kids are too cute :-)