So I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago for my annual preventative care. Almost all is well.. she wanted me to go get an ultrasound. So I did and I got a call yesterday that the results were "borderline" and I need further tests and a visit to the doctor again to determine if a biopsy is needed.
I was getting ready for a work function when I got the call and I just felt the air go out of me. My rational mind said, "do not panic or think of the worst since you don't know for sure yet what's wrong".... and the irrational part of my mind said, "oh no, here we go again... inconclusive, borderline, only 5%..." I had to literally tell myself to stop scaring myself. I feel a little better today. After talking to Frendell, who is my voice of reason and calms me down every time, I will look at this the same way we did @ the first diagnosis. Find out what's wrong and then come up with the strategies on how to deal with it. I told him i had more concerns this time around, because I know that anytime something comes back a second time, it is always harder to deal with.
"One day and one problem at a time, honey" is what he told me. So, for now, I will wait until next month to see the specialist and then whatever will be the next step will be. It's easier to allow myself to freak out and panic a little bit, but I will not allow myself to do that.... I know that no matter what happens, God is still in control, Mahal will be my strength and together we will have the constant support of our family and friends.
Happy Sabbath...
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