A look back...2 years ago

I am sitting here reflecting on the last couple of years. I want to write here some excerpts from my journal from 2 years ago. "On Oct 2, 2008, Dr. Fearon called me at 9 o.m. to tell me that I have a "highly suspicious tumor, intracystic papillary carcinoma". After having a diagnostic mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy, blood test, chest x-ray and an MRI, it was confirmed. We had many discussions between ourselves and then again with our medical team on what to do. We were scheduled to leave for a mission trip to Mindanao in 34 days. We decided that a lumpectomy will be done 2 weeks prior to our departure date to remove the tumor. This will be followed by our mission trip and then when we return, we will meet again as a team to decide on the course of treatment. They strongly suggest radiation as this has had the highest success rate in women who have had lumpectomies.

Through the announcement of our news 2 years ago, the floodgates of love, support and prayers have poured. We are truly blessed in more ways that we could have even imagined. My husband has held me and cried with me and talked with me about the changes that will inevitably happen to us. He has been and continues to be my tower of strength and courage. This has placed an unfair burden and responsibility on him and I pray that he will find comfort and relief through friends, family and support groups as we journey this road together. 

I am in awe of our family - the Velasco's and the Reyes's and everyone attached to them by blood or by marriage or by just plain adoption by love. They have been unfailing in their support, in more ways than possible to imagine. They have prayed, cried, flown here to be with us, sent flowers, cards, chocolates, oils, etc, more oils, etc, since my back surgery back in March 2008. What a blessed creature I am - to be surrounding by a loving, praying family - our anchor has been our faith in Jesus Christ. 

How do I even begin to express my gratitude to all our friends and church family, too many to name here, but so significant in how they've cheered us , comforted, supported and prayed for us and with us. On the night that my diagnosis was confirmed on 10/15/08, I was on the phone with Mom when I received a text from Mariezel. It said, "Let us know if you need n e thing cuz we R standing right outside ur window". Sure enough, at 10:30 p.m., Mariezel, Presa and Amabel drove to our house so they can share their love and comfort. I remembered thinking then that looking out my windows gave me the hope I needed at the time, when i saw the faces of my friends. We prayed, laughed and hoped and encouraged each other. I have always been fascinated by the beauty of windows - but that night I had a realization that windows are like doors of hope. When I look outside, I see friends who offer hope and prayer. When I'm outside looking in, I see warmth, comfort and love of family, sometimes friends, always my Heavenly Father. I call them my windows of HOPE. In the days that followed, so many other friends poured their love and support, from offering and giving me rides to my appointments, taking me to lunch, cooking for us, sending baskets of goodies, copying/faxing documents I needed for my state audit, listening to my fears and concerns and just being there with me, making sure I was not alone in facing those first confusing days from diagnosis. It boggles my mind how creative they have been and how they anticipated my needs before I even knew them. 

Through all the trials and challenges, my prayers is that i will decrease and God will increase. My His Name be honored and glorified in our lives, no matter what happens".  And so the story of our journey through breast cancer began... and 2 years later, we can honestly say that our faith has grown as we have grown through all the different challenges that we had to face. It is not always easy and there are still challenges even today, but we are surrounded by so many who have made sure we would not face these times alone. I fully believe that God orchestrated this whole journey so that I will learn that He is in charge of my life, that He knows what is best for me and most of all, that He will always be there for me no matter what happens, no matter what I face. It is a very difficult lesson to learn, but I am beginning to like the fact that I am learning it.